


reminders for the beginning, from the end

by pelnakhara



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: List Poem, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 09:24:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7165442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pelnakhara/pseuds/pelnakhara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"one.<br/>when you are buried elbow deep in research, with no care in the world but passing this damned test, let him take care of you."</p>
<p>ten reminders for roy mustang, spanning the life (and death) of his relationship with maes hughes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	reminders for the beginning, from the end

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a list poem i posted on tumblr a little while ago, and it's probably my most popular poem yet, so i thought i'd post it up here! 
> 
> warning for mention of the canon character death no one wants to think about, as well as mentions of alcohol and a brief allusion to sex.

**one.**  
when you are buried elbow deep in research, with no care in the world but passing this damned test, let him take care of you. drink the tea he brings, and sleep when he tells you that you’ve been awake for 36 hours. you will thank him later, when you’re a state alchemist.

**two.**  
he will never accept your apologies when you wake up on his couch after calling him at 3 in the morning, drunk, and wishing for home. he will only smile, and push a mug of coffee in your hands, and remind you that you’d do the same for him any day, should he need it from you.

**three.**  
it will seem like he doesn’t need your help the way you need his. this is incorrect. he may not ask for you to come over at odd hours, or pick him up from the ground; but he will always smile when you set aside your work to talk. he knows how much your work matters to you. he will always be a priority in your eyes.

**four.**  
_“you are so damn important.”_  
he says it over and over, in varying degrees of exasperation, through the years of your friendship. make yourself believe him, because he isn’t lying, not a single instance. to him, there are no others more important.

**five.**  
the line of his shoulders makes more sense to you than transmutation circles. press into your mind how they feel under your hands when he’s propped on his elbows over you, and you can’t breathe around the pleasure. these things may seem small, but they will matter sooner than you think.

**six.**  
he promises never to leave you, on the days when loneliness seems like your only end. you can’t understand why, but you don’t need to. only know that through every hard decision, and every begging civilian you have to kill, he is there, forgiveness on his lips.

**seven.**  
when you return from war, stand at his side as he watches his wife walk down the aisle. ignore your grief, your jealousy, your worries that things will never be the same. stifle the mourning you feel for the younger days. smile, damnit, because your best friend is getting married.

**eight.**  
he will find you, three weeks later, at the bottom of a bottle. try to hold back the truth, but you will fail. admit all your sins into the crook of his neck. when he kisses you, you will feel surprised. don’t. he never stopped loving you, and nothing has to change. gracia always knew she was no competition, and he jokes that he has more than enough room in his heart for the both of you. _"of course,“_ you tell him, _"look how huge that chest is.”_

**nine.**  
be there for the birth of his daughter, miles away, on the phone with him as he gushes about her beautiful eyes and tiny hands and little tufts of hair. smile. tell him to shut up, but don’t mean it. never mean it.

**ten.**  
six months after the funeral, go to elicia, set her on your lap, and try not to cry when she asks you if you’ll be her daddy now. nod, because of course you will, of course you can. you’ll never take his place, but you will try. try to imagine he’s watching you. try to imagine his smile. don’t ever forget that smile.

**Author's Note:**

> [ my tumblr ](http://jeffmoreau.tumblr.com/) / [ the original post on my writing blog ](http://weightofbones.tumblr.com/post/143042519877/one-when-you-are-buried-elbow-deep-in-research)


End file.
